Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label questions. Show all posts

20 Apr 2011

Q is for Questions.


Some time ago, I wrote a series of posts about life stories, in which I asked a number of important questions about life, love and authenticity, 3 topics close to my heart.

The letter 'Q' in this A to Z Challenge month seemed like a perfect opportunity to breathe new life into the series.

Therefore, without further ado, here is a new list of life questions to reflect on, share or discuss:

  1. What makes me smile?
  2. What is my biggest talent?
  3. What am I most proud of in my life?
  4. Do I allow myself to make mistakes?
  5. How can I make my life less stressful?
  6. What was I like as a child? How have I changed?
  7. Who could I not live without? Have I let them know? Recently?
  8. What does 'beauty' mean to me? Am I beautiful?
  9. When have I last said 'thank you' and really meant it?
  10. When have I last said 'I love you' and really meant it?
  11. What is my passion? How much time do I spend on it?
  12. Am I as good a partner as I expect my partners to be?
  13. Which 3 things I could do would really improve my health?
  14. If I had to eliminate one emotion from my life, which one would I choose?
  15. Which people have contributed to the person I have become?
  16. If I found out, with certainty, there was a heaven and hell after death, what would I change about my life?

Which question(s) struck a chord?

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Image: 'Day Dream (Explore!)' by Gauri Ma. Available under a creative commons license. © 2008, Gauri Ma.
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20 Mar 2011

1 Equinox. 4 Spring Skies. 7 Questions.


In a few hours, at 23:21 GMT, the centre of the sun will cross the equator and move further north (at least for us in the northern hemisphere). Night and day are now of equal length. Starting tomorrow, the days will triumph.

The vernal equinox heralds spring, and while all around us nature comes to life, we get a perfect opportunity to do the same.

It's time to dust off ideas and plans that were stowed away for the winter. Time to shake off the remnants of hibernation and start dreaming about the months to come.

Go out, plant a garden - or a flower pot, reinvent yourself, start a book club, make time for that hobby you always think or talk about, work more, work less, plan a trip, call a friend, ... not because you have to but because you can!


Here are a few questions that could spark more ideas ...

  1. What was the most important thing you learnt last year?
  2. Which of the things you learnt last year - and processed during the winter - can you start putting to good use?
  3. If you had some energy to spare, who or what would you spend it on?
  4. What can you do to feel (even) better about yourself?
  5. Which side of yourself would you like to develop further?
  6. Which mistakes will you allow yourself to make while doing so? (Note: if you reply 'none', keep repeating the question until you come up with another answer.)
  7. What can you do for the people around you that would make them very happy?
... and 2 more spring evening skies to gaze at while you're thinking.




I wish you a great springtime, in which you feel alive, loved & in love and more true to yourself than ever.

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Images taken by K.C. Woolf on March 20th, 2011.
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31 Jan 2011

Life Stories - the Interviews. Question #7

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.
Previous questions: #1#2, #3, #4, #5, #6 


QUESTION #7


What are you most afraid of?

How does that fear affect you?
Does it stop you from doing anything important?
Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com.
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28 Jan 2011

Life Stories - the Interviews. Question #6

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.
Previous questions: #1#2, #3, #4, #5


QUESTION #6


How much do you like your home, your town (village, city, ...) and the country where you live?

What's keeping you there?

Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com.
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24 Jan 2011

Life Stories - the Interviews. Question #5

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.
Previous questions: #1#2, #3, #4


QUESTION #5


If you only had 3 more months to live, would you continue doing what you are doing now?

What would you change?

Next question: #6

Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com.
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13 Jan 2011

Life stories - the Interviews. Question #4

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.
Previous questions: #1#2, #3


QUESTION #4


Are you being a good friend to yourself?

Are you taking care of your body, heart, mind, soul and all the parts of yourself you consider important? (Yes, including those!)




Next questions: #5, #6

Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com.
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9 Jan 2011

Life Stories - the Interviews. Question #3

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.
Previous questions: #1#2



QUESTION #3


Which 'little' things in life make you happy?





Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com

Next questions: #4#5, #6
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5 Jan 2011

Life Stories - the Interviews. Question #2

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.
Previous question: #1



QUESTION #2


What's the craziest thing you've done so far?
How crazy is it?




Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com

Next questions: #3, #4#5, #6
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3 Jan 2011

Life Stories - the Interviews. Question #1

This post is part of the series: 'Life Stories - the Interviews'.



QUESTION #1


Have you made a real difference
in anyone's life?
When? Where? How?




Next questions: #2#3, #4#5, #6
Tell us your story in the comments below, or via email to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com
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Life Stories - the Interviews. Intro.

Yesterday I wrote an article about life stories. Last month I posted a list of questions. Now let us put the two together and take the next step.

I happen to believe that all life stories are interesting, as long as you take the time to look, listen and ask the right questions. Well, all through January, I'll be here, eyes and ears wide open, with plenty of questions to ask.

Dear readers, I am going to interview you!

Hopefully, my questions will trigger your stories and inspire you to share them with the rest of us. In bite-size chunks, revealing as much or as little about yourself as you feel comfortable with.

What stories?

What do we want to read? Anything that is significant to you. From short anecdotes to grand tales of Life, Love and Learning. Experiences that taught you something invaluable, that made you smile or cry your heart out. From life's strange coincidences to the happiest day of your life. We would love to read about it.

How will this work?
  • Every couple of days I will post interview questions
  • Pick one (or more) about which you have something to tell
  • Post your answer, i.e. your story, in the comments (short), or email it to KC [at] kcwoolf [dot] com (for the longer ones)
  • Of the ones that are emailed, I'll make a selection and post paragraphs or summaries here.
I also want to invite you to reply to other people's stories, to reach out and connect. Often, when we're dealing with life, we feel like we're on our own. Let's show there are more of 'us' than we think!

Now, on to QUESTION #1...
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2 Jan 2011

What's Your Story?

Old Couple
Photo credit: Ryan Morrison

As an assignment for a psychology class I once took, a group of us had to interview couples over 65 about their life story. It was part of research on Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, and looked for levels of ego integrity versus despair during the later stages of life.

I have to admit I was apprehensive. I expected we would be setting ourselves up for a few long afternoons that would be either awkward or boring.

But the assignment had to be done. A few weeks later, on a chilly day in October, we went on our way, armed with a questionnaire and a long list of interview questions that ranged from vaguely personal to downright intrusive.

We had an appointment with a retired baker and his wife. Our contact had assured us they were willing, and talkative by nature. On top of that, there would be cake. With any luck, by the time we got to the questions about their sex life, we'd be on a sugar high.

I couldn't have been more wrong, at least about the interview. (The cake was gorgeous.) They welcomed us with open arms and we met two people who had been together for nearly fifty years and held on, through everything life had thrown at them, including running a business together. They were eager to share their story with us - even the parts they didn't want on tape.

The man was an introvert. He'd been happy as a baker, hiding between sacks of flour, hard labour and, much later, machines. His wife - the vocal half of the couple - thrived in the shop. It wasn't long before she knew the whole neighbourhood, weaving her threads into the social fabric, one piece of well-meaning advice at a time.

They had raised three sons together, who in turn had fathered several children. The grandchildren still visited most weekends.

But the story we were told wasn't all saccharine. There had been illness and a baby lost at birth. We could feel the overwhelming pride they took in their three healthy sons, and the sense of failure when one of them had run off with his brother's fiancee. They were content with their relative health, but she worried if he would manage, in case she'd die first.

They counted their blessings, the streaks of luck and those they had worked hard for. Still, awareness dawned how soon they would have to leave it all behind.

Those mandatory afternoons, spent with 'our' couple, changed something in me. They helped me understand how fragile we are, yet how resilient. Life takes us through twists and turns and what doesn't kill us really makes us stronger. Our ability to learn and adapt is virtually inexhaustible.

On that winding road from birth to death, we spin the stories of our lives. And every single one of these stories is interesting. How could they not be?

  • A good story needs a protagonist. - Like you!
  • A good protagonist needs hopes, dreams and desires. - What are yours?
  • To make the story interesting, add plenty of conflict. - Which hurdles are you facing?
  • Build up tension. - Where will you go from here?
  • At the end of the story, the character has changed. - Who will you become?
We are not just living our lives. We are creating our own life stories.

With all the elements in place, each of these stories is interesting, each person a fascinating creature. All we need is the time and the intent to look, ask the right questions and listen.
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13 Dec 2010

Life, Love and at least 21 Questions.

I'm usually not a list-making type of person, but every once and a while, when my life is at its most chaotic, I get a burst of that particular type of energy that makes me want to sort out stuff. And make lists.

Today has been one of those days.

After half a day of redecorating my hidey-hole / writer's den (pictures coming soon) and a few hours of overdue reading, there was a little energy left for something I'd been thinking about for a while but never really got round to doing: compiling a list of questions I want to ask myself on a regular basis.

And as with all questions, their real value lies in the answers we come up with. And the insights and changes that sprout and grow from there.

Anyway, here's my list:
  1. What is the craziest thing I've done so far? How crazy is it?
  2. Am I a nice person?
  3. Who are the people I consider most important in my life? How much (quality) time do I actually spend with them?
  4. How do I think people will remember me when I die? How would I want to be remembered?
  5. Have I been the kind of friend I'd want to have as a friend?
  6. Have I made a real difference in anyone's life?
  7. Am I being a good friend to myself? Taking care of my body, heart, mind, soul or whatever part of me I consider important?
  8. When's the last time my heart was beating fast out of excitement?
  9. If I didn't know my own age, how old would I think I was?
  10. If I were a superhero, what would my superpower be?
  11. If I only had 3 more months to live, would I continue doing what I'm doing now?
  12. Most of the time, when I wake up, do I feel like what I'm going to do that day matters?
  13. Which are my most treasured skills? In how far am I using them to make a living?
  14. What is my biggest fear?
  15. Am I holding any grudges?
  16. How much do I like my home? The village/town/city/country where I live?
  17. What would my dream holiday look like? In what way is it different from my current daily life?
  18. Am I spending most of my thoughts on the past, the present or the future?
  19. Who are the people I'm surrounding myself with? What does that tell about me?
  20. How far would I go to save the life of someone I love?
  21. What am I most grateful for?
And as a nice surprise: going through my list made me feel quite good about my life. There's still plenty of room for improvement, but I'm happy where I am now. I'm grateful for the people in my life, for the luck, the good decisions ànd the not-so-good ones. They have possibly taught me more than anything else.
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11 Oct 2010

Hate crimes. Or: where I fail to understand.

I came across this article via a blog I'm following and it made me angry. Not the article, obviously, but the crime it described in gruesome detail.

Over fifteen years ago, a professor of American literature I was lucky to study with as an exchange student in Southern Germany, called me "too relativistic". I understood why: I had the habit of looking at everything from so many angles, that I was unable to pick just one point of view and treat it as 'the right one'.

Since then, I've learnt to manage it better, but the need to look for the underlying whys and hows of ... well, everything, is still there. In most sufficiently complicated situations, I can't decide what's right or wrong, I see mainly different points of view: developed, taught and learnt in differing circumstances. Some of them cause pain to some, joy or comfort to others. But they all have underlying reasons, that are there to be looked for and - sometimes - found.

I guess this relativism is such an intrinsic part of being an ENFP, that I'll be that way until I depart from these realms. And I'm happy about that, because this characteristic has been a driving force for me to keep adapting and learning, and every time I was at risk for taking things too much for granted, it's given me a good kick in the butt.

However, I've discovered there are limits to my attempts - and ability - to understand.
The things that tick me off most are unfairness and abuse of power, in all their forms, and especially when they're pointless, unprovoked and directed at creatures who stand no chance in that situation. And most hate crimes tick all of those boxes.

Yes, I do understand that our inner animal wants to pick a fight when it feels threatened, and that many of us would be capable of resorting to violence in order to protect something or someone that we consider ours, part of our family or tribe.
But can someone tell me what's so threatening about the freckled redhead in the playground, or about women, ethnic minorities or the gay couple next door?

Or are more and more people feeling so powerless in this modern and estranged world, that those bottled up emotions grow into hate that needs to find a way out and gets aimed at anyone who happens to be close by, a bit more different or more colourful and vulnerable enough not to hit back?

And more importantly: how will this end?

Will this continue until only a few are left standing, only to discover that the diversity of species was a prerequisite for survival? Or do we - on the other side of the spectrum - decide to protect our minorities and most vulnerable creatures by making them hide under layers of plain cloth or standardised behaviour, which would make our beautiful planet so much less colourful and interesting?

How can we match our needs as individuals with those of the many tribes we are part of: our families, our social circles, our communities, neighbourhoods, villages and cities, our countries, continents and the entire planet?

So far I have only questions. Because I'm still trying to understand. NOT to justify and NOT to rationalise, but to understand.

Until we do, I fear we have no solutions. Until we do, I'll use my outrage as fuel to keep looking for answers, grateful as I am for the many colourful people in the tribes I'm part of.
Ignoring this anger would be bad, for their sakes as well as mine. Chances are it'd bottle up and turn into hate. And we don't need any more of that, do we?
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