13 Dec 2010

Life, Love and at least 21 Questions.

I'm usually not a list-making type of person, but every once and a while, when my life is at its most chaotic, I get a burst of that particular type of energy that makes me want to sort out stuff. And make lists.

Today has been one of those days.

After half a day of redecorating my hidey-hole / writer's den (pictures coming soon) and a few hours of overdue reading, there was a little energy left for something I'd been thinking about for a while but never really got round to doing: compiling a list of questions I want to ask myself on a regular basis.

And as with all questions, their real value lies in the answers we come up with. And the insights and changes that sprout and grow from there.

Anyway, here's my list:
  1. What is the craziest thing I've done so far? How crazy is it?
  2. Am I a nice person?
  3. Who are the people I consider most important in my life? How much (quality) time do I actually spend with them?
  4. How do I think people will remember me when I die? How would I want to be remembered?
  5. Have I been the kind of friend I'd want to have as a friend?
  6. Have I made a real difference in anyone's life?
  7. Am I being a good friend to myself? Taking care of my body, heart, mind, soul or whatever part of me I consider important?
  8. When's the last time my heart was beating fast out of excitement?
  9. If I didn't know my own age, how old would I think I was?
  10. If I were a superhero, what would my superpower be?
  11. If I only had 3 more months to live, would I continue doing what I'm doing now?
  12. Most of the time, when I wake up, do I feel like what I'm going to do that day matters?
  13. Which are my most treasured skills? In how far am I using them to make a living?
  14. What is my biggest fear?
  15. Am I holding any grudges?
  16. How much do I like my home? The village/town/city/country where I live?
  17. What would my dream holiday look like? In what way is it different from my current daily life?
  18. Am I spending most of my thoughts on the past, the present or the future?
  19. Who are the people I'm surrounding myself with? What does that tell about me?
  20. How far would I go to save the life of someone I love?
  21. What am I most grateful for?
And as a nice surprise: going through my list made me feel quite good about my life. There's still plenty of room for improvement, but I'm happy where I am now. I'm grateful for the people in my life, for the luck, the good decisions ànd the not-so-good ones. They have possibly taught me more than anything else.
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9 Dec 2010

Just gorgeous...

No words necessary:


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Downtime and the Danger of (its) Extinction.

I wanted to share a blog post over at 'the99percent' that has really struck a chord with me. It's an article about the importance of interruption-free space for creative thinking.

2/365 Days - Pen and PaperThese past few days, I've been trying to focus exclusively on my novel. I found it impossible. There were phone calls, text messages and an annoying letter in the mail that needed urgent attention. And of course: the Internet. Facebook, Twitter, emails, mailing lists that always seem to explode when it's really cold outside, etcetera.

Still, I am painfully aware how easy it would be to avoid many of those distractions. If I really wanted to. And ay, there's the rub: something inside me keeps drawing me back to my technologically-induced connections. For some reason, they seem very important.

It made me wonder: are they, really?

Would my real friendships or family bonds fade if I didn't see these loved ones' status updates? Or they mine? Would the quality of my life diminish if I didn't read every single email or tweet shared by the communities I feel part of?

I'm so sure they wouldn't. So I thought a bit more about it: if this constant connectivity doesn't make a fundamental difference, why do our brains keep directing us there?

The article I mentioned above pointed out a number of very plausible reasons:
  • 'space is scary': having time to think about possibly anything, having time alone with our minds, can be very confrontational. So we look for distraction to avoid the confrontation.
  • 'interaction with others affects our self-esteem': I am sure this is a lot more true for extraverts than introverts, but that doesn't make it any less relevant. The constant connection and quick feedback to our walls, tweets or blogs, makes it possible to feel valued, reassured, part of a greater whole and even loved: instantly, and nearly all the time.

I wanted to add another reason of my own, that ties in closely with that last one:

Because of the internet, and the possibilities of connecting with people far away, our communities have expanded, not necessarily in numbers (because we only have so much awareness, attention and other brain capacity), but geographically.

As a result, we are no longer just relying on our immediate physical environment for good conversation, friendship, mental and emotional connection, a sense of 'family'. We can cherry-pick those people we 'click' with most, regardless of where they live.

And because this extended family is often not around during the more tedious bits of everyday life, they're less likely to stuff up or be associated with mundane matters, and more likely to be a great doorway to the 'charged' and intense and deeper interaction we crave.

Add to that the huge holes in the information that's actually conveyed in online communication (we miss out on tone of voice, body language, facial expressions, etc.), which means that our brain needs to fill in many more blanks in the message. Our brains do that from (reconstructed) memory and imagination, which i slikely to confirm the ideas we already have and to reinforce us in who we are. And yay: more good vibes!

And really, this is great. It's extremely valuable and I am incredibly grateful for all the people I have met and got to know this way. I've had several of my best conversations and most precious experiences with some of them. This connectivity can expand our horizons and make our minds more free.
But there is a downside: it can make our minds less free as well, if we allow it to take up our 'sacred space', our 'creative pauses', our much needed downtime.

Central Park, NY. October 2004
I've certainly been thinking about that a lot, these past few days. I'm trying to be a lot more conscious about that sacred space, being my own best friend by reminding me to shut down my laptop regularly, to make plans to meet up 'for real', to go for walks, take bubble baths, and read more (Edgar Allen Poe, for now). And what's interesting: I still have just as much time for writing!


You can find Scott Belsky's original article here, and there are some great tips and ideas about this topic at the Sabbath Manifesto!
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5 Dec 2010

A Toy for Dark and Rainy Days.


Two more weeks and we'll be going through the longest night of the year. We've entered the dark times and in spite (or because) of that, my writing's actually going pretty well.

I love this time of year, but still, when I look through the window, I miss the colours of spring, summer and autumn. Especially now the snow has thawed to a vile greyish-brown sorbet, I'm longing to see the world in vibrant tones again.

Until the first blooms in March, memories and pictures will have to do. And I've found just the right online tool for that: the Multicolr Search Lab.

It allows you to pick a combination of up to 10 colours, and then it finds you a bunch of matching Flickr images. It searches between the most 'interesting' pictures under Creative Commons license, based on how Flickr users and visitors click, comment or tag them.

A few more picks that lifted my spirits:



If you want to have a try: http://labs.ideeinc.com/multicolr. Be warned, though, it's strangely addictive!
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3 Dec 2010

Friday Chuckles...

Here's a picture I took this summer, driving on a motorway in England. I was really lucky to have my camera at hand when I noticed the number plate.

It's probably only funny if you're a computer gamer or an internet geek, though...

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