tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post3476500565152501294..comments2024-01-15T21:18:14.060+01:00Comments on The Woman Condition: About Good Girls, Bad Girls and Why We Write.K.C. Woolfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-56802684323068311092011-09-08T15:30:27.363+02:002011-09-08T15:30:27.363+02:00This post is great! This is my favorite quote beca...This post is great! This is my favorite quote because for me, it's all comes down to this:<br /><br />"Could the driving force underneath our work be that we know first-hand what it feels like not to fit in?" <br /><br />Yes, yes, and yes.Angelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12399082789777816445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-85093027173355511292011-08-18T11:33:06.777+02:002011-08-18T11:33:06.777+02:00Thanks, Toby, that means a lot. I'm right ther...Thanks, Toby, that means a lot. I'm right there with you behind the vanilla sugar frosting – with a spoon!K.C. Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-56283454932310340852011-08-18T00:31:21.432+02:002011-08-18T00:31:21.432+02:00I clicked on this as I read about the award (thank...I clicked on this as I read about the award (thank you friend!)and it struck me right in the heart as I get ready to publish my first novel, a dark story of overcoming sexual violence, murder and recovery... a "women's issues" novel if there ever was one, and in a panic this morning i sent an email to my editor, asking if I should publish the sequel first, it's not so dark... and reading this, I realize what I'm scared of. Being a bright happy person who's a people helper, I've also seen the darkest dark side of oppression and this book goes there and then kicks the shit out of it... and now everyone will know I know that side too. <br />I'm a good girl. But I know everyone has a dark side, and it's the duality that makes for great writing. Fearless writing.<br />I'm not that fearless yet. I like to hide behind vanilla sugar frosting. I hope I find the courage to publish this book!<br />aloha<br />TobyToby Nealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14245810488645852955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-4907170937353728582011-06-21T00:45:31.573+02:002011-06-21T00:45:31.573+02:00Thanks, Talli. :-) I'm sure your MC has a few ...Thanks, Talli. :-) I'm sure your MC has a few dirty secrets or guilty pleasures she hasn't told anyone about - yet. :-)K.C. Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-3172142295870911812011-06-20T19:07:07.842+02:002011-06-20T19:07:07.842+02:00What an interesting post. I was definitely a good ...What an interesting post. I was definitely a good girl, but I do love writing strong female characters. I'm struggling right now, because my MC is a good girl and to be quite honest, I'm finding her a little dull!Talli Rolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04780882465745107715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-43349279318004334032011-06-20T13:03:56.466+02:002011-06-20T13:03:56.466+02:00Rosemary: it's those opposing sides that make ...Rosemary: it's those opposing sides that make life interesting, don't you think?<br /><br />Rosalind: thanks for the tag, I guess. ;-) To be considered good or bad seems to depend on the environment as well. I've always lived in very different, parallel worlds. In some of them I'm less daring than average, in others a lot more. All a matter of perspective. :-)<br /><br />Samantha: LOL yes. I just saw the film last night. :-) (I thought Hugh Jackman's brief appearance was brilliant.)K.C. Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-77558785837824302342011-06-20T11:51:35.779+02:002011-06-20T11:51:35.779+02:00"Mutant and proud." ;-)
Great and thoug..."Mutant and proud." ;-)<br /><br />Great and thought-provoking post!Samantha Sottohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14116257082088369600noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-59106820452706858312011-06-19T22:31:12.249+02:002011-06-19T22:31:12.249+02:00The older I get, the more comfortable I feel about...The older I get, the more comfortable I feel about my gender and its position in society. You see, in my 20s there was a general acceptance that bad girls were good fun. Good girls were boring. I was boring but I would have loved to be good fun. Now I'm just me and it's such a relief. I've just tagged you on my blog, by the way :-)<br /><br />http://rosalindadam.blogspot.comRosalind Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05363027308436257933noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-86684527304600822912011-06-19T18:26:21.775+02:002011-06-19T18:26:21.775+02:00Wonderful post and so much truth in it. I've u...Wonderful post and so much truth in it. I've usually strived to behave in a socially acceptable way, especially when church and faith have defined me to some extent.<br /><br />Yet there have been times when I was strongly aware of the opposing sides to my nature, even if I didn't act upon them. Maybe that's why I was more daring when young, and now I'm getting a bit more rebellious!Rosemary Gemmellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09311840205603508422noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-9813425193777277312011-06-18T23:15:13.808+02:002011-06-18T23:15:13.808+02:00DEZZ: I've noticed I like interesting people, ...DEZZ: I've noticed I like interesting people, and whether or not they're well-behaved doesn't always matter that much. I do hate scenes and I can't stand abuse of power, so there's definitely behaviour that would make me take my heart back. ;-)<br /><br />Julee: when I told one of my friends about Justine's article, she responded with: 'the more things change, the more they stay the same'.<br />I don't notice a lot of discrimination in my own life, but I'm aware that I'm in a privileged position because of the country and times I was born in. <br />Nice to meet you! :-)K.C. Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-79958934175602599492011-06-18T21:45:56.059+02:002011-06-18T21:45:56.059+02:00I loved Musk's blog and the resulting comments...I loved Musk's blog and the resulting comments and thank you for this one! I'm old enough to be your mom, probably, but in the garage, I have the first couple of years of Ms Magazine, which my mother bought for me. Sad these are still issues. <br />I for one, love the good guys. I'm married to one and am proud to write them, with just the hint of darkness potential. <br />Loved her reference to the Sweet Valley High novels, which I sold a ton of in the late '80s, early '90s. They were about a set of twins and Jessica wasn't really bad, she was just a bit high strung. I'm working on notes to do a YA novel about a not very nice girl and flashed back to a science fiction juvy by Robert A. Heinlein called PODKAYNE FROM MARS, who was truly badass. Much to think about. Thanks, all.Julee J. Adamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06074318571722993020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-68137844855087647762011-06-18T19:28:24.134+02:002011-06-18T19:28:24.134+02:00and well-behaved men seldom conquer women's he...and well-behaved men seldom conquer women's hearts :( if I may add.DEZMONDhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14127166104359407763noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-51188578600437094202011-06-18T18:35:15.366+02:002011-06-18T18:35:15.366+02:00Suze: thank you! :-) And I think you're right ...Suze: thank you! :-) And I think you're right about that desire: being understood - and possibly loved - for who we are. :-)<br /><br />Munk: Hail to the Alpha Mouse! :-)<br /><br />EcoGrrl: there definitely are the double standards and I know of a few pigs-around-the-office, but even though their behaviour annoys me, I haven't really suffered from it myself. I tend to be outspoken and I believe in handing people back what they're dishing out - preferably threefold. So far, that's kept most of the pigs at bay, but probably because they're not the worst kind. :-)<br /><br />Sharlene: I recognise some of what you wrote, including the notes-from-nuns. ;-) Still, I hate fights and scenes and I aim to please, so that does create the odd internal conflict.<br /><br />mbj: I like your philosophy of trying not to hurt anyone, including yourself. What I find hardest is when my interests conflict with someone else's and I have to make a choice. The older I get, the more I learn to choose 'me' on a regular basis, but it's still difficult.<br /><br />L.G.: Thank goodness there aren't (many) mind readers around. ;-) <br />I've always been drawn to interesting people who don't fit in for plenty of different reasons, and we tend to get along well, even though I'm (still) too much of a people pleaser myself to fly my own freak flag (too often), but who knows what the future will bring. =)K.C. Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-59432645464992986682011-06-18T18:04:16.920+02:002011-06-18T18:04:16.920+02:00Oh, K.C., you know this resonated with me. I'v...Oh, K.C., you know this resonated with me. I've had people look at me cross-eyed all my life because I don't fit their preconceived expectations. People have always tried to put me in a box marked "good girls." Fine. I'm nice enough, but what they don't understand is that's only the packaging. Inside things get much more complicated. <br /><br />I like people who fly "freak flags." :)Luanne G. Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15762881276976395955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-23579750812667934092011-06-18T17:50:15.646+02:002011-06-18T17:50:15.646+02:00There are so many definitions of what is "goo...There are so many definitions of what is "good" and what is "bad". I try to live life so that I hurt no one including myself. I think that pretty much keeps me in line. I was lucky also that I was allowed to just "be me" as I was growing up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-55392902262628469362011-06-18T16:59:12.703+02:002011-06-18T16:59:12.703+02:00Just last night, my sister and I were talking abou...Just last night, my sister and I were talking about this and she said, "What you don't understand is that, unlike all the other little girls who were walking down the one path, you were always on the left side and refused to follow what didn't make sense to you -- which is why you were always bringing notes home to Mother from the nuns!" I did follow a different path and have had the exquisite advantage of being surrounded by people throughout my life who didn't try to force me into any "role." Although I understood the women's movement, I couldn't apply it to my life because I was never stopped from trying whatever I wanted. The dark side is that you are no longer that sweet malleable woman that the world seems to want. They SPEAK of singularity but they don't want it in their neighborhood!SharleneT.http://www.mainstreamsolarcooking.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-27483396443545029282011-06-18T16:41:36.636+02:002011-06-18T16:41:36.636+02:00I think the article is phenomenal. It still amaze...I think the article is phenomenal. It still amazes me that we cling to the words 'I am a good girl' - because so many can't bear to be categorized as a badass. Not that I like to be categorized, but when I think "good girl" I think of women who play by the rules even if they don't internally agree with them - they're considered "sassy" because once every five months they speak up, versus the "bad girl" who says what she wants, when she wants, and doesn't censor herself because of what society has told her she needs to be. I see the good/bad thing in the workplace constantly - I have recently worked somewhere that the person sitting next to me has been seen as 'the funny guy' for repeatedly insulting others, including myself, backhanded comments, passive aggressive behaviors, and others. Yet when I turned around and gave him a taste of his own medicine, suddenly he got all sensitive on me - yet didn't change his own behavior when I explained to him that his behavior was offensive. He's still the popular guy, I'm still the 'bad girl' who can't seem to play well with others because I refused to be repeatedly insulted by his words and actions. <br /><br />yes, i could go on...but thank you for this post :)EcoGrrlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04856550147714231721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-45036894888834909982011-06-18T16:41:02.285+02:002011-06-18T16:41:02.285+02:00I am an alpha mouse and a bad piece of business.I am an alpha mouse and a bad piece of business.Munkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04921320770712443773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-28757692930370470222011-06-18T16:27:46.636+02:002011-06-18T16:27:46.636+02:00What a beautiful post, K.C.-- and quite obviously ...What a beautiful post, K.C.-- and quite obviously straight from the most genuine place inside you.<br /><br />What makes me unique is what makes me like everyone else-- my desire to be known for who I truly am, without misinterpretation.Suzehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07908805179119217608noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-76462951728303136342011-06-18T15:55:55.002+02:002011-06-18T15:55:55.002+02:00Karen: that's a good point: the importance of ...Karen: that's a good point: the importance of what we identify with. 'A good girl with a rebellious streak': I like that! :-)K.C. Woolfhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04047055661710059161noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7437166935957267035.post-18184393787046095002011-06-18T15:32:44.151+02:002011-06-18T15:32:44.151+02:00I certainly agree with the sentiment that every in...I certainly agree with the sentiment that every individual is both good and bad, sometimes within the same day. Ultimately it's a choice of which we identify with stronger, and that has to do with our backgrounds, life experiences, relationships, etc etc. Personally, I am a good girl with a rebellious streak that pops out every so often and surprises people. Which I like.Karen Jones Gowenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01153821980625034810noreply@blogger.com